Love Beyond Time
Love Beyond Time
Lessons from medieval mothers and the modern “Forever Letter”
If you’d prefer to listen instead of read this post:
Jodi Picoult’s outstanding novel By Any Other Name introduces a fascinating piece of epistolary history called “Mother’s Legacies.” These were letters written by pregnant women to their unborn children, and they are among the few remaining writings from Elizabethan women. In the story, Picoult imagines Emilia Bassano, the “true” author behind Shakespeare’s works, writing such a letter to her child before facing the dangers of childbirth.
A Practice Born of Necessity
In medieval Europe, childbirth was fraught with risk. From the 13th to the 16th centuries, young women—especially noblewomen who had access to education—would write letters to their unborn children, often as a form of spiritual and emotional preparation. These letters expressed maternal hopes, blessings, advice, and values —a means of staying present in their children’s lives even if they couldn’t be there. This writing offered solace, a sense of agency, and a lasting connection. While few of these documents survive, historians confirm they reflect a widespread poignant practice.
The “Forever Letter”
In HEARTSPOKEN: How to Write Notes That Connect, Comfort, Encourage, and Inspire, I discussed Elana Zaiman’s idea of a “Forever Letter” that brings this enduring practice into a modern context. Inspired by the Jewish tradition of the “ethical will,” a written record of one’s beliefs, principles, and blessings for descendants, Zaiman encourages readers to pen letters that capture what truly matters: life lessons, cherished memories, and enduring love. These Forever Letters aren’t about finality or fear, but rather about creating a gift of presence and encouragement for our loved ones—one that lasts beyond our lifetime.
Timeless Lessons for Heartspoken Connections
The epistles of medieval mothers and Forever Letters alike highlight the power of words to carry love and meaning across time. What can we take from them today?
A Lasting Legacy: Both types of letters honor the desire to leave something meaningful for future generations. A well-considered letter creates a legacy that endures.
Guidance and Values: More than simple greetings, they capture deeply held beliefs, guidance, and advice—offering a touchstone, that resonates long after the writer is gone.
Heartfelt Communication: Instead of prioritizing convenience and speed, the Forever Letter invites us to slow down and be more intentional and thoughtful in our communication. A handwritten note has a different weight and permanence than electronic messages.
A Message of Presence: Life’s uncertainties remind us of the preciousness of time. Slowing down long enough to write this kind of letter is a form of mindfulness that can lead to deeper self-knowledge and self-awareness. Sharing our hopes, dreams, and love with our family and friends creates a beautiful way of showing that we are with them, if only through our words.
By embracing this tradition, we can offer profound comfort, encouragement, and devotion. Whether we’re writing to future generations, to children or grandchildren, or even to friends and colleagues, these messages can become a cornerstone of connection in their lives.
Try this yourself!
Write a heartspoken note or a Forever Letter to someone you care about. It shouldn’t be somber…fill it with joy and hope. Share a piece of your story, your convictions, your gratitude, or your dreams for their future. Your words may become a cherished part of their journey, a steady reminder of your caring and love.
Suggested Reading
Zaiman, Elana. The Forever Letter: Writing What We Believe For Those We Love. Woodbury: Llewellyn Publications, 2017.
Don’t forget the Holiday Shipping Deadlines
If you live in the United States and have overseas or deployed military personnel to whom you wish to send packages, the earliest deadlines are already here. Here’s the scoop, straight from the U.S. Postal Service. If you live in Canada, here are some guidelines from Canada Post. Anywhere else, check your country’s postal website.
Heartspoken notes from my mailbox
Inspired by National Authors Day on November 1:
Hi, friend,
On this National Authors Day, please accept my sincere gratitude and appreciation for your book, your Substack , newsletters, and all the other ways your gifts continually bless me. You’re a beautiful mentor, teacher, and friend. Lisa M.
Excerpt from a nonprofit leader’s handwritten note to me after I spoke at her organization’s event:
Thank you so much for the time and intention you put into your address at the Foundation Anniversary Celebration. You always find a way to capture the audience and deliver an impactful, yet also easy to understand, message, and that night was no exception. I found myself getting tearful, feeling so thankful and honored to be a part of this organization that so many, including yourself, have poured into. Thank you again and again. Becky S.
From a professional colleague:
Elizabeth, I’m thinking of you this week and how much I’m inspired by your work. Thank you for being the voice for the importance of written communication and thoughtfulness…especially in times like these that beg for connections. Vicki P.
Every note I get in the mail is like getting a hug and a boost of encouragement. That’s the power you have in your hand when you write and send a heartspoken note.
Next week, a special guest
I’m excited to welcome notecard designer Leah Nixon Fitzgerald. She’s co-owner with her sister Grace of Tiny and Snail, one of my favorite notecard companies (She’s “Tiny” and Grace is “Snail”). She’ll be sharing an important message for heartspoken note writers. Subscribe now so you don’t miss it:
Have a great week and always remember: whether written or spoken, words from the heart will never fail you!
Thank you @Elizabeth H. Cottrell for the beauty of today’s #Heartspoken newsletter, the book recommendation and for the lesson in the importance of writing “Forever Letters.” Throughout the years I’ve written both of my children letters at various milestones in their life. I remember writing one letter to my daughter as she was headed off to college. I pulled out my best writing paper at the time, pale pink résumé paper, and expressed how incredibly proud I was of her accomplishments, but more importantly, how proud I was of the woman she was becoming. I sealed the envelope and left the letter on her dresser.
That evening when she arrived home, she found me in whatever room I was in, and gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. She then asked what font I had used. Finding this comical, I repeated her question back to her in a serious but somewhat bemused way, “What font did I use?” She told me the letter was perfectly written and scrupulously neat but she had never seen that font before on her computer. At that moment, I realized she had never seen a full page of my handwriting; she had only seen a few words written at the bottom of her birthday cards! We had a laugh about it, but I realized then the importance of writing what I now know are Forever Letters.
I recently wrote my son a Forever Letter, expressing how proud I was of him for the man he had become and for being so diligent in his church attendance, dedication to Christ, for his many volunteering activities and for having a kind and compassionate heart toward everyone he met. He was moved by the letter and proud to have something like this in writing, even more so than me telling him verbally the same things.
As I get older, and as I’ve recognized the value and meaning others find in my written correspondence, I think about the legacy I want to leave. I recently wrote a church member a heartfelt letter as he and his wife head off to the mission field in another country. In the letter, I expressed my appreciation for the impact he’s had on my son and so many other young men in the church by mentoring each one and discipling them through one-on-one weekly meetings, where they talk, do Bible study and practice scripture memorization. In the letter, I expressed my hope that when he feels homesick, mine might be one of the many letters he can pull out and remember what an enormous impact he’s had and know how much he and his wife are loved.
As I was listening to your Substack newsletter tonight (THANK YOU for reading to me! Your voice is so kind and loving), I even remembered the many letters I wrote my parents as a teenager, when I wasn’t bold or confident enough to speak with them face-to-face about things that were important to me. I was taught to honor my father and mother and to respect my elders, so when they made a decision I disagreed with or when I wanted to voice my opinion but I was too shy to express myself face-to-face, I put my opinions and thoughts respectfully in letter form. I made poster paper sized Birthday and Easter cards for them.
It was only after my dad passed away in December 2001, that my Mom called me to their bedroom, pulled open my dad‘s sock drawer and showed me he had kept every single letter I had ever written to them from the time I was maybe 13–14 years old until I was grown and living on my own! I had long forgotten these letters, cards and whatever issues I had with their decisions, but again, I realized in that moment as a 39-year-old, how much these cards, notes and letters had meant to both of them, but especially my father, whom I was more like personality and temperament. He was sentimental like me.
Elizabeth, I agree totally with Becky S., that you always find a way to capture your audience and have an impactful and easy to understand message, and I share the opinion of Vicki P. that you are the voice for the importance of written communication and thoughtfulness.
I’m so glad you’re here. You embody compassion, kindness and inspiration always. We need you more than you know 💟💟💟